Why We’re Scared to Push People Away When We’re Dating

If finding real love is one of our deepest dreams and it hasn’t worked out yet, it’s natural to feel nervous when we start dating someone with potential.

The fear of losing a promising connection can make us hesitant to express our concerns, feelings, and boundaries.

We might think:

• “What if they think I’m too much?”

• “What if this pushes them away?”

For those of us who’ve dated avoidant or narcissistic partners, this fear can feel even more intense. In those relationships, sharing emotions or setting boundaries may have been met with criticism, rejection, or dismissal.

Here’s the truth:
Just because those past partners were scared of your emotions doesn’t mean you’re “too much.”

If you want real love, expressing your feelings, boundaries, and needs is essential. Healthy partners will not only want to hear about your inner world—they’ll value it.

Why We Fear Pushing People Away

If you’ve had caregivers or partners who shamed you for having emotions or needs, you may have learned to suppress those parts of yourself to maintain connection.

This Looks Like:

• Holding back your feelings to avoid conflict.

• Minimizing your needs so you don’t seem “needy.”

• Staying silent about boundaries because you don’t want to “rock the boat.”

Why This Coping Mechanism No Longer Serves You:
While it may have protected you in childhood, suppressing your true self in relationships as an adult only creates disconnection and frustration.

The Reality About Healthy Love

Healthy Partners Want to Know Your Inner World:

• They value open communication, even when it’s uncomfortable.

• They see your emotions and needs as part of who you are—not as a burden.

If They’re Turned Off by Your Truth:

• It’s a sign they’re not the right partner for you.

• A partner who dismisses your feelings or boundaries won’t contribute to a fulfilling, long-term relationship.

Leaning Into Vulnerability Creates Space for Real Love

If expressing your true self “scares them away,” it’s actually a blessing in disguise.

Why?

• It clears space for a partner who can hold space for your emotions and honor your needs.

• Real love thrives when both partners can show up authentically.

How to Overcome the Fear of Pushing People Away

1️⃣ Recognize the Origin of the Fear:
Understand that this fear likely stems from past relationships or childhood experiences where expressing yourself felt unsafe.

2️⃣ Challenge the Belief That You’re “Too Much”:
Replace this thought with affirmations like:

• “My emotions and needs are valid.”

• “The right person will value all of me.”

3️⃣ Practice Setting Small Boundaries:
Start by expressing minor preferences or needs to build confidence in your ability to communicate openly.

Need Help Breaking Free From This Fear?

If you find yourself so afraid to lose a connection that you hide your true self, know that you’re not alone—and there’s hope for healing.

Here’s How I Can Help:
In my 1:1 and Remote Energy Healing sessions, we’ll:

• Release emotional baggage and negative beliefs tied to your past with caregivers or partners.

• Heal subconscious fears that keep you from expressing your true self.

• Empower you to show up authentically and create the healthy, loving relationship you dream of.

Tap the button below to learn more and schedule a free consultation.

Or, get started right away by tapping “Remote Sessions” to book your session today.