Why We’re Afraid to Ask for What We Need in Love

You’ve done the work. You’ve walked away from relationships where you weren’t valued. You’ve taken time to heal. You’ve looked inward, sat with the pain, and found the strength to try again.

And now you’re putting yourself back out there—this time, with the intention to show up differently.

But when the moment comes to speak your truth, something stops you.

You tell yourself you’re being too sensitive.
You convince yourself it’s not that big of a deal.
You want to say, “I need more from you,” but instead, you smile and pretend it’s fine.

And afterward, a familiar feeling creeps in: you feel unseen, unheard, and quietly heartbroken.
And you wonder if it will always feel this way.
If anything could ever truly be different.

Why This Happens (And It’s Not Your Fault)

This kind of silence doesn’t come out of nowhere.
It’s not that you don’t have needs.
It’s that at some point—often early on—you learned that having needs wasn’t safe.

Maybe you were taught that:

• Expressing your needs could push people away.

• Asking for more meant you were “too much.”

• It was easier to be loved when you asked for nothing at all.

So you became low-maintenance.
You made yourself “easygoing.”
You laughed off the things that hurt.
You stayed quiet, even when everything inside you was screaming for more.

And The Hardest Part?

We’ve done it for so long that we’ve forgotten what it even feels like to fully express ourselves in love.

We don’t know what it’s like to say, “This is what I need,” and trust we won’t be punished for it.

But here’s what healthy self-expression actually looks like:

• Trusting that your needs are valid.

• Knowing the right person won’t be scared away by your truth.

• Feeling safe enough to ask for more without fearing that love will be taken away.

“But I Don’t Even Know What My Needs Are.”

If this is coming up for you—you're not alone.
I’ve been there too.

I spent years making myself easy to love.
So easy, in fact, that I lost touch with my own heart.

Underneath the surface, I carried deep subconscious conditioning telling me:

• If I wanted to keep love, I had to stay small.

• Being “chill” was the secret to being chosen.

• My silence was a form of safety.

How I Reclaimed My Voice and My Needs

What changed everything wasn’t just more therapy or journaling.
It was when I went deeper—into my energy body, my nervous system, and the beliefs that lived far below my conscious awareness.

✨ I released the belief that my needs were a burden.
✨ I healed the part of me that equated silence with safety.
✨ I rewired my nervous system to feel secure receiving, not just giving.

And when I did?

Something shifted.
I no longer felt the pull to shrink.
I stopped panicking at the thought of asking for what I truly wanted.
I began to see what I had been missing all along:

The love that was meant for me was never going to require me to abandon myself.

Ready to Reclaim Your Voice?

If you're ready to feel safe expressing your needs and receiving love on a deeper level—
I’d love to help you rewire the beliefs, fears, and energies keeping you stuck in silence.

Tap the button below to schedule a free consultation.