Why the Idea of a Twin Flame Is So Alluring—And So Often Unhealthy

I’m not here to tell you twin flames aren’t real. I do believe they’re a real experience we can have.

Some connections do feel cosmic. Instant. Transformative. They can wake something up inside you that you didn’t even know was sleeping.

I’ve felt that intensity before. Many of my clients have too.

But I’ve also seen what happens when a spiritual connection crosses the line from awakening into obsession.

When that “divine union” begins to feel more like a trauma trap.

The Beginning Always Feels Magical

You meet someone and something clicks.

It’s like your whole soul recognizes theirs before they’ve even said a word. Time slows down. The world feels different. It’s not just chemistry—it’s like remembering someone you’ve known for lifetimes.

You stay up talking for hours. The intensity is immediate and magnetic. You tell yourself:

“This must be my person.”
“This is the connection I’ve been waiting for.”

And then—just as quickly—it all begins to unravel.

They disappear. Come back. Pull away again. They’re hot one day, cold the next. You’re left trying to decode mixed signals and clinging to breadcrumbs of intimacy.

But it’s okay, right? Because they’re your twin flame. This is just part of the journey… right?

When the Twin Flame Journey Becomes a Spiritualized Trauma Bond

Here’s where I see this idea become dangerous:

• It becomes a story that explains away pain.

• A justification for the chaos and confusion.

• A permission slip to stay in something that doesn’t feel good because you think it’s part of some higher plan.

We say things like:

“They’re not ready yet.”

“This is helping us both grow.”

“My soul chose this.”

But what if your soul didn’t choose prolonged suffering?

What if your soul is actually calling you into freedom?

The Deeper Truth Most People Don’t Talk About

So often, what we call “twin flame” energy is actually the energetic echo of abandonment wounds—replaying the feeling of not being chosen and trying to finally “win” love once and for all.

It’s spiritual fantasy dressed up as purpose.

And it keeps us stuck in:

• Chasing someone who doesn’t choose us back

• Romanticizing avoidance or emotional unavailability

• Believing our wholeness depends on someone else’s awakening

But real love—divine, sacred love—will never ask you to wait indefinitely, abandon yourself, or earn your worth.

What Healing Looks Like

You don’t have to deny the beauty of the connection. You don’t have to question everything you felt.

But you can release the pain.

You can keep the depth, the awakening, the growth—and still walk away from the person.

You can let go of the narrative that says your destiny depends on someone else.

That’s not giving up.

That’s sovereignty.

And in that sovereignty, something magical happens:
Your energy returns to you.
Your clarity sharpens.
Your heart softens—but doesn’t shatter.

And suddenly, you're not chasing union.

You're creating it within yourself.

Ready to Break Free From the Loop of Painful Spiritual Connection?

I’m creating something new—Alchemy Week—a six-day immersive energy healing experience designed to help you release the emotional and energetic patterns keeping you stuck in unhealthy love…

So you can open to the kind of relationship that actually feels safe, nourishing, and real.

If you're craving a love that chooses you back—
A love that doesn’t hurt, confuse, or make you wait—

Tap the button blow to sign up for “Alchemy Week updates.”

You’ll be the first to know when enrollment opens and what themes we’ll be working with inside the container.

Let’s alchemize the past into something beautiful.