We Avoid Unavailable Partners by Becoming Comfortable with the Unknown

We may already know that the key to avoiding emotionally unavailable partners is becoming more emotionally available ourselves.

We’ve probably heard advice on how to do this—things like opening our hearts, being more vulnerable, and working through intimacy fears.

And while that’s important, the real challenge in becoming more emotionally available isn’t just about opening up—

It’s about learning how to sit with uncertainty in relationships.

To be clear, this doesn’t mean tolerating toxic relationships with mixed signals and emotional instability.

But it does mean becoming comfortable with the inherent uncertainty that’s present in even the healthiest relationships and dating situations.

Signs We Struggle With Uncertainty in Love

1️⃣ We overanalyze everything our partner says or does.
We read too much into texts, tone of voice, or slight changes in their behavior, constantly looking for hidden meanings.

2️⃣ We feel the need to define the relationship as soon as possible.
Unclear situations make us uncomfortable, so we push for clarity immediately—even before things naturally unfold.

3️⃣ We need constant reassurance.
We often ask, "Are you sure you love me?" or "Are you mad at me?" Any small shift in their behavior makes us feel unsafe, so we seek verbal or physical proof that they still care.

4️⃣ We pull away at the first sign of emotional uncertainty.
If things feel unclear, instead of seeking reassurance or allowing space, we shut down or withdraw.

5️⃣ We expect relationships to feel “certain” before we fully invest.
We want guarantees before allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, struggling with the idea of figuring things out as we go.

Real Emotional Availability Means Trusting Ourselves

At its core, emotional availability isn’t just about trusting others—it’s about trusting ourselves.

It’s the knowing that even if this relationship doesn’t work out, we will still be okay.

That inner foundation of self-trust allows us to stay present, open, and emotionally available—without needing to control how things unfold.

Ready to release what’s no longer serving you and come home to the love within you?
Get my free guided energy healing, Energetic Heart Reset—a powerful audio experience to help you clear stuck energy from the past and reconnect with your heart.