The Energetic Reasons We’re Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable Partners (From an Energy Healer)

If you’ve had painful relationships in the past, you might find yourself repeatedly drawn to emotionally unavailable partners.

This pattern can feel frustrating and confusing, but it often stems from energetic and subconscious factors tied to unresolved pain.

Here’s the truth:
When we experience hurt in relationships, our nervous system creates protective mechanisms to shield us from further pain.

One of these mechanisms is associating intimacy with danger or discomfort. This subconscious association can make emotionally unavailable partners seem safer—because they don’t require the vulnerability or closeness that feels threatening.

As an energy healer, I often see recurring energetic patterns in clients who are drawn to unavailable partners. Let’s explore these energies and how they might be holding you back from healthy, fulfilling love.

1. Idea Allergies to Intimacy, Connection, or Closeness

An idea allergy is a subconscious resistance to the idea of something that’s been associated with pain.

What This Looks Like:

• If you’ve been hurt in the past, your subconscious may associate intimacy with rejection, betrayal, or loss.

• This resistance can draw you to partners who are emotionally distant, where intimacy isn’t a threat.

How to Heal:
By releasing the emotional baggage tied to the events that created this resistance, the subconscious can reframe its associations with intimacy, making space for healthy connection.

2. Love Blocks

Love blocks are energetic imbalances that prevent us from fully giving or receiving love.

What This Looks Like:

• Feeling unworthy of love or believing you don’t deserve a healthy relationship.

• Struggling with vulnerability or fearing abandonment, rejection, or heartbreak.

How to Heal:
Releasing love blocks clears the energetic pathways for love to flow freely, helping you open up to partners who are emotionally available and capable of giving love.

3. Negative Beliefs About Love

Negative beliefs are subconscious thoughts formed from repetitive negative experiences.

What This Looks Like:

• Beliefs like “I’ll never be loved,” or “I’m not enough,” act as magnets for partners who reinforce these feelings.

• The subconscious wants to prove these beliefs true, leading you back to emotionally unavailable relationships.

How to Heal:
Rewiring negative beliefs into affirmations like “I am loved and cherished” or “I am worthy of healthy love” helps shift the subconscious and break unhealthy patterns.

4. Frozen Heart Energies and Heart Walls

When the heart has been deeply hurt, it can create energetic defenses to protect itself.

What This Looks Like:

• Frozen Heart Energies: The heart stops fully feeling, leading to numbness or disconnection from others, especially those who are good for us.

• Heart Walls: The heart builds an energetic barrier to protect against future pain, but this also blocks emotional connection with others.

The Result:
These defenses leave us drawn to emotionally unavailable partners because they mirror our own energetic shutdown.

How to Heal:
Releasing frozen heart energies and dissolving heart walls allows you to feel more open, connected, and ready for a healthy relationship.

Recognize Yourself in These Energies?

If you see yourself in these patterns, know that healing is possible. By addressing the energetic and subconscious factors drawing you to unavailable partners, you can open your heart to real, healthy love.

How Energy Healing Can Help

In my 1:1 and Remote Energy Healing sessions, we’ll work to:

• Release resistance to intimacy and connection.

• Clear love blocks and negative beliefs holding you back from healthy relationships.

• Dissolve frozen heart energies and heart walls, creating space for deep emotional connection.

Ready to leave the pain of the past behind and attract the love you deserve?

• Tap the button below to book your session today.