The Conscious Way to Deal With “The Ick”

You’ve probably heard of “the ick” by now—that sudden feeling of repulsion, disgust, or an overwhelming urge to push someone away.

When it strikes, it’s easy to decide it means this person isn’t for us and move on.

But what if we took a deeper look at what’s really going on beneath the surface when “the ick” shows up?

Instead of seeing it as a definitive sign to walk away, we can use it as an opportunity for self-awareness and reflection.

What Is “The Ick” Really Telling Us?

Feeling “the ick” can mean many different things. It’s not always a red flag that the connection should end—it could also be pointing to:

• Subconscious fears or discomfort.

• An incompatibility or crossed boundary.

• A defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability.

Here’s how to consciously explore what “the ick” might be signaling and move forward with clarity.

Step 1: Identify What Triggered It

Take a moment to reflect on what caused “the ick.”

Ask Yourself:

• Was it something superficial, like a velcro wallet?

• Or was it something deeper, like a condescending tone or a boundary being crossed?

Why This Matters:
A surface-level trigger might point to personal biases or expectations, while a deeper trigger could highlight a genuine incompatibility.

Step 2: Reflect on Whether It’s Surface Level or Significant

If the concern is more surface level, like a quirky habit or preference, it’s worth pausing to reflect.

Ask Yourself:

• “Is this behavior harming me, or is it simply different from what I expected?”

• “Could this be a harmless quirk that doesn’t affect their ability to be a great partner?”

Why This Matters:
Real love isn’t about finding someone flawless. It’s about embracing quirks and imperfections as part of being human.

Step 3: Address Boundaries With Compassion

If “the ick” feels connected to a boundary being crossed, consider addressing it openly.

How to Communicate:

• Use a compassionate approach, such as: “Hey, I noticed something that caught me off guard. Can we talk about it?”

• Create space for understanding rather than immediately shutting down the connection.

Why This Matters:
Healthy communication can help clarify whether the issue is resolvable or if the connection truly isn’t right for you.

Step 4: Consider Fear of Vulnerability

Sometimes, “the ick” shows up when everything seems to be going well. This can indicate subconscious fears of intimacy or vulnerability.

What to Look For:

• Do you notice a pattern of shutting down promising connections as soon as they get serious?

• Could “the ick” be a defense mechanism to avoid getting too close?

Why This Matters:
Understanding these patterns can help you break free from self-sabotage and open up to deeper connections.

What to Do If You’re Still Unsure

If you’ve reflected on the trigger and addressed boundaries but still feel unsettled, trust your instincts.

Key Questions to Ask Yourself:

• Does this connection feel uplifting and aligned with my values?

• Am I holding onto fear or discomfort that’s clouding my judgment?

Whether you choose to continue or disconnect, the goal is to act from a place of clarity and self-awareness.

Need Help Moving Through “The Ick” and Opening to Real Love?

If you’ve noticed a pattern of pushing away deep connections when “the ick” shows up, I can help.

In my 1:1 energy healing sessions, we’ll:

• Release fears and self-sabotaging patterns that keep you stuck.

• Clear emotional blocks that make it hard to embrace vulnerability and connection.

• Help you open your heart to real love—quirks and imperfections included.

Tap the button below to learn more and schedule a free consultation.