I Asked for Real Love. My Soul Sent Me a Narcissist First… for a Reason.

It was 2018, and I had one of those dreams you never forget. The kind that feels like way more than just a dream.

Earlier that day, I had an energy healing session with one of my mentors to help ease the pain I was experiencing in my relationship.

I reached out to him hoping to clear whatever was holding me back from being a better partner for my ex.

He worked on me, clearing some energies. I felt things shifting inside me, but nothing drastic—just subtle movements. I went to bed that night not expecting what was about to happen.

Then came the dream.

In the dream, I was in a cave with my partner. He was hitting me with a stick and yelling at me.

Suddenly, a few men walked by and saw what was happening. They shouted:

"Stop that, you’re hurting her! That’s not right!"

I woke up with a deep, undeniable knowing that what was happening in my relationship was not okay.

The word “abuse” floated up from somewhere deep inside me.

I reached for my phone and started Googling what exactly that meant.

I Couldn’t See the Abuse

With the perspective I have now, I can see exactly why my soul led me into that relationship.

I consciously knew that abuse existed—but I didn’t really understand it on a deep level.

I had witnessed mistreatment as a kid. Even now, it still feels strange to call it abuse.

It was so normalized within me that painful relationships felt like the ocean I was living in—and I was a fish.

Does a fish know it’s living in water if that’s all it has ever known?

The Soul’s Path to Healing

At the time, after going through a divorce, my deepest dream was to find real, healthy love.

But the only way my soul could crack through the denial I had around my relationship patterns was by putting me in a situation so extreme—so painful—that I could no longer ignore it.

The relationship was so toxic, so intense, and so abusive that it forced me to see my patterns in love for what they were.

And it worked.

From the depths of that experience, I rose like a phoenix from the ashes.

Over time, I healed. I did the deep work. And now? I’m happily remarried to a partner who loves me fully.

Sometimes, Our Souls Lead Us to Darkness to Show Us the Light

If you’re in the middle of your own dark night of the soul, know this: it is not without its purpose.

Ask yourself:
"What is my soul asking me to see?"
"What am I meant to learn from this?"

And in time, the answers will reveal themselves to you.

The deepest darkness can lead to the most incredible light.

✨ If you’re struggling to find meaning in your painful relationship experiences, I can help.

Through 1:1 energy healing sessions, I help my clients release the subconscious wounds and energetic imprints keeping them stuck in toxic relationship cycles—so they can finally move toward the love they’re meant for.

Tap the button below to learn more and schedule a free consultation.