Do We Need to Forgive a Narcissistic Ex to Heal and Move On?

If you’ve ended a relationship with a narcissistic ex and are on a healing journey, you might feel pressure to forgive them. Whether it’s the societal mantra of “forgive and forget” or advice from self-help books insisting that forgiveness is for your benefit, it’s common to feel like forgiveness is a necessary step for healing.

Forgiveness isn’t really about your ex.

But what if you don’t want to forgive? Is forgiveness truly essential for healing and moving on? The answer depends on how we define forgiveness and what it means for you.

What Does Forgiveness Really Mean?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing your ex’s behavior or welcoming them back into your life. Doing so would likely be an act of self-abandonment. Unfortunately, society often frames forgiveness as a gift to the other person, something you do for them. If that’s your belief, it’s no wonder you’d resist it.

However, forgiveness in its truest sense isn’t about your ex at all. It’s about you.

Forgiveness Means Letting Go
True forgiveness is about releasing yourself from the emotional weight of resentment, anger, and pain. It’s not about saying what they did was okay—it’s about choosing not to carry the emotional burden anymore. Forgiveness is freedom, not permission for bad behavior.

What If You’re Not Ready to Forgive?

If the word “forgiveness” feels heavy or loaded because of its traditional implications, you can let it go. Forget about forgiveness in the conventional sense. Instead, focus on what healing looks like for you.

Do You Need to Forgive to Heal?

• No, you don’t need to forgive in the traditional sense to heal.

• Yes, you do need to heal to move on.

Healing means processing the emotional baggage of a narcissistic relationship—grief, anger, resentment, and all the layers in between. When you’re no longer carrying the weight of those emotions, you’ve essentially “forgiven” in the sense that you’ve freed yourself from their hold.

Healing Takes Time

It’s important to remember that healing can’t be rushed. Forgiveness, or whatever term resonates with you, will come naturally as you work through your emotions and grow. The peace that follows is a sign you’re no longer tied to the pain of your past.

Healing doesn’t mean you want your ex in your life again. It simply means you’re no longer holding onto resentment, and you’ve reclaimed your emotional freedom.

Feeling Stuck After a Narcissistic Relationship?

If you’re struggling to release resentment, anger, or grief after a narcissistic relationship, know that you don’t have to navigate this alone. My energy healing sessions are designed to help you gently release emotional burdens, so you can find peace, healing, and forgiveness (if and when you’re ready).

Tap the button below to learn more and schedule a free consultation.