Do We Miss Them—Or Do We Miss Who We Were with Them?

Feb 12

Written By Lindsay Tran

Image of a person looking at a sunset, symbolizing self-reflection and letting go.

When we miss an ex, it often feels like we’re longing for them—

The way they made us feel when things were good.
The memories we created together.
The love we shared.

But what if what we truly miss isn’t them…

What if we miss the version of ourselves we got to be when we were with them?

Here’s the good news: If what we’re longing for is actually a part of ourselves, then we don’t need them to come back in order to feel whole again.

Let’s break down what we might really be missing—and how to reclaim it.

1️⃣ We Miss Feeling Wanted and Chosen

Maybe being with them made us feel seen, adored, or valued in ways we don’t normally feel on our own.

They might have provided a sense of external validation that now feels like a giant hole in our life.

But the truth is: We don’t need someone else to choose us to feel worthy.
We can learn to choose ourselves.

2️⃣ We Miss the Role We Played in Their Life

Were we the nurturer? The healer? The one who “understood” them in a way no one else did?

When a relationship ends, we don’t just lose the person—we lose the identity we held in the relationship.

If we gained a sense of purpose through taking care of them, we might feel lost without that role.

But true purpose isn’t about fixing or saving someone—it’s about being in alignment with our own joy, passions, and inner fulfillment.

3️⃣ We Miss the Version of Ourselves That Was in Love

Love has a way of making life feel:
More exciting
More hopeful
More meaningful

When the relationship ends, it can feel like all the excitement and meaning left along with them.

But what if we could reconnect with that joy, passion, and openness to love—within ourselves?

4️⃣ We Miss the Future We Imagined

Sometimes, it’s not the actual person we’re grieving the most…

It’s the future we thought we were going to have with them.

Letting go isn’t just about grieving them—it’s about grieving the life we thought we were building together.

💡 Reminder: Just because something didn’t work out the way we imagined doesn’t mean something even better isn’t on the way.

You Don’t Need Them to Feel Good Again

What if… instead of longing for who you were when you were with them, you started reclaiming that version of yourself—on your own?

✔️ You can feel wanted and chosen—by yourself.
✔️ You can rediscover purpose without needing to pour it into a partner.
✔️ You can reconnect with the part of you that loved deeply and turn that love inward.

This is where energy healing can help.

How Energy Healing Can Help You Let Go and Move Forward

If you feel stuck in longing for your ex, I can help.

In my 1:1 energy healing sessions, we’ll:

Release the emotional ties keeping you stuck in longing and pain.
Reconnect you with the version of yourself that you loved, even without them.

Heal the part of you that still longs for “what could have been,” so you can move forward feeling whole.